Outside the carolers start to sing   I can't describe the joy they bring   'Cause joy is something they don't bring me      My girlfriend is by my side   From the roof are hanging sickles of ice   Their whiny voices get irritating   It's Christmas time again      So I stand with a dead smile on my face   Wondering how much of my time they'll waste   Oh God, I hate these satan's helpers      And then I guess I must have snapped   Because I grabbed a baseball bat   And made them all run for shelter      It's Christmas time again   It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year   I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer   You people scare me, please stay away from my home   If you don't wanna get beat down   Just leave the presents and then leave me alone      Well, I guess it's not cool to freak on Christmas Eve   'Cause the cops came and arrested me   They had an unfair advantage      And even though the jail didn't have a tree   Christmas came a night early   'Cause a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package      It's Christmas time again   It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year   I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer   You people scare me, please stay away from my home   If you don't wanna get beat down   Just leave the presents and then leave me alone      I won't be home   I won't be home for Christmas   I won't be home   I won't be home for Christmas   (Please post my bail)      I won't be home   I won't be home for Christmas   (Please post my bail)   I won't be home   I won't be home for Christmas   (Please post my bail)      I won't be home   I won't be home for Christmas   (Please post my bail)   I won't be home   I won't be home for Christmas