Deck the halls with boughs of holly   Fa la la la la, la la la la   This the season to be jolly   Fa la la la la, la la la la      Outside the carolers start to sing   I can't describe the joy they bring   'Cause joy is something they don't bring me      My girlfriend is by my side   From roof are hanging 'sicles of ice   Their winey voices get irritating      It's Christmas time again      So I stand with a dead smile on my face   Wondering how much of my time they'll waste   Oh, God, I hate these Satan's helpers      And then I guess I must have snapped   Because I grabbed a baseball bat   And made them all run for shelter      It's Christmas time again   It's time to be nice   To the people you can't stand all year   I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer      You people scare me   Please stay away from my home   If you don't want to get me down, just leave the presents   And then leave me alone      Well, I guess it's not cool to freak on Christmas Eve   'Cause the cops came and arrested me   They had an unfair advantage      And even though the jail didn't have a tree   Christmas came a night early 'cause   A guy named Bubba unwrapped my package      It's Christmas time again   It's time to be nice   To the people you can't stand all year   I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer      You people scare me   Please stay away from my home   If you don't want to get me down, just leave the presents   And then leave me alone      I won't be home   I won't be home for Christmas   I won't be home   I won't be home for Christmas      I won't be home   I won't be home for Christmas   I won't be home   I won't