I used my silver spoon at birth   For throwing meatballs at my nurse   And much to my regret   I can't mingle with the social set.      I used the wrong fork at the Stork in New York.   My manners ain't fit for a goop.   I'm just a square in the social circle.   Who put that fly in my soup?      I'd rather go out with a lout to about   Than sleep in a symphony hall.   I'm just a square in the social circle.   Who knocked my gum off that wall?      When the utterly utter flows like butter   I want to start pitching a curve.   With a silly old blighter on a first nighter   I feel like a pickled hors d'oeuvres,   No verve.       I never felt gay in a fancy beret   Or wear a babushka or bursk.   I'm just a square in the social circle.   Finger bowls hurt me the worst.    They just don't quench my thirst!      Mrs. Vanderpuss with greet me with a fourteen karat shout,   "My dear you simply must come to my daughter's coming out!"   Her daughter is a Frankenstein, a Dracula in mink.   When she comes out each stag will shout,    "Gadzooks, I need a drink!"      I'd dined and clubbed,    I've elbow rubbed from Yonkers to Cheyenne!   Boo to you bud;   Take your blue blood   And stuck it in your fountain pen!      I wanna brush all the flush in the gush.   I'd rather get left than be right.   I'm just a square in the social circle.   Anyone here wanna fight?      And none of me fits with the wits at the Ritz.   I'd rather relax on a stool.   I'm just a square in the social circle.   Anyone wanna shoot pool?      When a cookie with cabbage gets too savage   I'll wrestle him three out of four.   I would rather a sailor hop in my trailer   And show me his nautical lore.   Why sure!      The ladies will frills only fill me with chills.   They're soft as a ball of chenile.   I'm just a square in the social circle.   I've got a muscle of steel.   Anyone here want to feel?      I'm as square as a pear in a boutonniere.   Fancy silks won't stay on.    I'm designed for rayon.   But I just don't seem to care.   I'm a square!