Hold the milk, put back the sugar   They are powerless to console   We've gathered here to sprinkle ashes   From our late friend's cereal bowl      Breakfast Clubbers, say the motto   That he taught us to repeat   You will lose it in your gym class   If you wait 'til noon to eat      Back when the Chess Club   Said our eggs were soft   Every Monday he'd say grace   And hold our juice aloft      Oh, none of us knew   His checkout time would come so soon   But before his brain stopped waving   He composed this tune      When the toast is burned   And all the milk has turned   And Captain Crunch is waving farewell      When the big one finds you   May this song remind you   That they don't serve breakfast in Hell      Breakfast Clubbers, drop the hankies   Though to some our friend was odd   That day he bought those pine pajamas   His check was good with God      Those here without the Lord   How do you cope?   For this morning we don't mourn   Like those who have no hope      Oh, rise up, Fruit Loop lovers   Sing out sweet and low   With spoons held high   We bid our brother, Cheerio      When the toast is burned   And all the milk has turned   And Captain Crunch is waving farewell      When the big one finds you   May this song remind you   That they don't serve breakfast in Hell      When the toast is burned   And all the milk has turned   And Captain Crunch is waving farewell      When the big one finds you   May this song remind you   That they don't serve breakfast in Hell      When the toast is burned   And all the milk has turned   And Captain Crunch is waving farewell      When the big one finds you   May this song remind you   That they don't serve breakfast in Hell      When the toast is burned   And all the milk has turned   And Captain Crunch is waving farewell      When the big one finds you   May this song remind you   That they don't serve breakfast in Hell