I judge by what she's wearing   Just how many heads I'm tearing   Off of assholes coming on to her   Each night seems like it's getting worse      And I wish she'd take the night off   So I don't have to fight off   Every asshole coming on to her   It happens every night she works      They'll go and ask the DJ   Find out just what would she say   If they all tried coming on to her   Don't they know it's never going to work      They think they'll get inside her   With every drink they buy her   As they all try coming on to her   This time somebody's getting hurt   Here comes the next contestant      Is that your hand on my girlfriend?   Is that your hand?   I wish you'd do it again   I'll watch you leave here limping   I wish you'd do it again   I'll watch you leave here limping   There goes the next contestant      I even fear the ladies   They're cool but twice as crazy   Just as bad for coming on to her   Don't they know it's never going to work      Each time she bats an eyelash   Somebody's grabbing her ass   Everyone keeps coming on to her   This time somebody's getting hurt   Here comes the next contestant      Is that your hand on my girlfriend?   Is that your hand?   I wish you'd do it again   I'll watch you leave here limping   I wish you'd do it again   I'll watch you leave here limping   There goes the next contestant      I'm hating what she's wearing   Everybody here keeps staring   Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve   This time somebody's getting hurt   Here comes the next contestant      Is that your hand on my girlfriend?   Is that your hand?   I wish you'd do it again   I'll watch you leave here limping   I wish you'd do it again   I'll watch you leave here limping      I wish you'd do it again   Each night seems like it's getting worse   I wish you'd do it again   This time somebody's getting hurt   There goes the next contestant