I was just thirty-four years old   And I was still wandering in a haze   I was wondering why everyone I met   Seemed like they were lost in a maze      I don't know why I thought I should have   Some kind of divine right to the blues   It's sympathy not tears people need   When they're the front page sad news      The incense burned away   And the stench began to rise   Lovers now estranged   Avoided catching each others' eyes      And girls who lost their children   Cursed the men who fit the coil   And men not fit for marriage   Took their refuge in the oil      No one respects the flame   Quite like the fool who's badly burned   From all this you'd imagine   That there must be something learned      Slit skirts, Jeanie never wears those slit skirts   I don't ever wear no ripped shirts   Can't pretend that growing older never hurts      Knee pants, Jeanie never wears no knee pants   Have to be so drunk to try a new dance   So afraid of every new romance      Slit skirts, slit skirts   Jeanie isn't wearing those slit skirts, slit skirts   She wouldn't dare in those slit skirts, slit skirts   Wouldn't be seen dead in no slit skirts      Romance, romance, why aren't we thinking up romance?   Why can't we drink it up true heart romance   Just need a brief new romance      Let me tell you some more about myself   You know I'm sitting at home, just now   The big events of the day are passed   And the late TV shows have come around      I'm number one in the home team   But I still feel unfulfilled   A silent voice in her broken heart   Complaining that I'm unskilled      And I know that when she thinks of me   She thinks of me as him   But unlike me, she don't work off her frustration in the gym      Recriminations fester   And the past can never change   A woman's expectations   Run from both ends of the range      Once she walked with   Untamed lovers' face between her legs   Now he's cooled and stifled   And it's she who has to beg      Slit skirts, Jeanie never wears those slit skirts   And I don't ever wear no ripped shirts   Can't pretend that growing older never hurts      Knee pants, Jeanie never wears no knee pants   We have to be so drunk to try a new dance   So afraid of every new romance      Slit skirts, slit skirts   Jeanie isn't wearing those slit skirts, slit skirts   She wouldn't dare in those slit skirts, slit skirts   Wouldn't be seen dead in no slit skirts      Slit skirts, slit skirt   Jeanie isn't wearing those slit skirts, slit skirts   She wouldn't dare in those slit skirts, slit skirts   Wouldn't be seen dead in no slit skirts      Romance, romance, why aren't we thinking up romance?   Why can't we drink it up true heart romance   Just need a brief new romance