Here we have our dust-free dining set    We guarantee it won't collect a speck    Freeing up the children to instead    Grow into your molding    Heed more of your scolding    Go early to their new self-making beds       Seems like you'd be tired of losing face    Like you'd want to put the children in their place    The more you have to tell them to do their chores    The more you run the risk of being ignored       If you're lucky they'll turn out as good as you    You tell them that they're good kids but you know it isn't true    Your father drank a little; you're on liver number two    Progress has a way of feigning ease    Convenient new inventions bait the tease    For though it is impossible to cure:    A husband bent on cheating    The oxygen depleting    A child who's always bragging    A wife's persistent nagging    We're equipped to live as though it were       If you're lucky they'll turn out as good as you    You tell them that they're good kids but you know it isn't true    Your father drank a little; you're on liver number two