Blind date with a chancer, we had oysters and dry lancers   And the check when it arrived, we went dutch, dutch, dutch   Dutch a redder shade of neck on a whiter shade of trash   And this emory board is giving me a rash      I'm flat out   You're so beautiful to look at when you cry   Freeze, don't move   You've been chosen as an extra in the movie adaptation   Of the sequel to your life      A shady lane   Everybody wants one   A shady lane   Everybody needs one      Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God   Oh my God, oh his God, oh her God, oh your God   It's everybody's God, it's everybody's God   It's everybody's God, it's everybody's God      The worlds collide   And all that I want is a shady lane   Glance don't stare   Soon you're being told to recognize your heirs      No not me   I'm an island of such great complexity   Distress surrounds   The muddy peaceful center of this town      Tell me off   In the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys   And the over friendly concierge      A shady lane   Everybody wants one   A shady lane   Everybody needs one      Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God   Oh my God, oh his God, oh her God, oh your God   It's everybody's God, it's everybody's God   It's everybody's God, it's everybody's God      The worlds collide   But all that I want is a shady lane