My turntable is so cool    It knows exactly what to do    The Stooges sound like they're in my room    It plays The Fall right out-of-tune       Paid 50 bucks for it the other day    At a garage sale 'round the way    It plays records how they are meant to be played    Can't picture any other way       And it's black    And it's cool    And it knows just what to do    I wouldn't swap it for the world    It's my turntable       I tried all the major brands    I played all my favorite bands    The salesmen couldn't understand    What I wanted    What I wanted       I don't need one that plays five CD's    Picks up signals in Japanese    I don't want one that doesn't please    Please me, me       And it's black    And it's cool    And it knows just what to do    I wouldn't swap it for the world    It's my turntable    It's my turntable       My journey ended the other day    I found the one that suits in every way    Sat up my favorite record to play    Jonathan never sounded so great       And it's black    And it's cool    And it knows just what to do    I wouldn't swap it for the world    It's my turntable