You know parents are the same   No matter time nor place   They don't understand that us kids   Are gonna make some mistakes   So to you, all the kids all across the land   There's no need to argue   Parents just don't understand      I remember one year   My mom took me school shopping   It was me, my brother, my mom   Oh, my pop, and my little sister   All hopped in the car      We headed downtown to the Gallery Mall   My mom started bugging with the clothes she chose   I didn't say nothing at first   I just turned up my nose      She said, "What's wrong? This shirt cost 20 dollar"   I said, "Mom, this shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar"   The next half hour was the same old thing   My mother buying me clothes from 1963      And then she lost her mind and did the ultimate   I asked her for Adidas and she bought me Zips   I said, "Mom, what are you doing, you're ruining my rep?"   She said, "You're only sixteen, you don't have a rep yet"      I said, "Mom, let's put these clothes back, please"   She said, "No, you go to school to learn not for a fashion show"   I said, "This isn't Sha Na Na, come on mom, I'm not Bowzer   Mom, please put back the bell-bottom Brady Bunch trousers   But if you don't want to I can live with that but   You gotta put back the double-knit reversible slacks"      She wasn't moved, everything stayed the same   Inevitably the first day of school came   I thought I could get over, I tried to play sick   But my mom said, "No, no way, uh uh, forget it"      There was nothing I could do, I tried to relax   I got dressed up in those ancient artifacts   And when I walked into school, it was just as I thought   The kids were cracking up   Laughing at the clothes mom bought      And those who weren't laughing still had a ball   Because they were pointing and whispering   As I walked down the hall   I got home and told my mom how my day went   She said, "If they were laughing you don't need them   'Cause they're not good friends"      For the next six hours I tried to explain to my mom   That I was gonna have to go through this about 200 more times   So to you all the kids all across the land   There's no need to argue   Parents just don't understand      Oh okay, here's the situation   My parents went away on a week's vacation   And they left the keys to the brand new Porsche   Would they mind?   Umm, well, of course not      I'll just take it for a little spin   And maybe show it off to a couple of friends   I'll just cruise it around the neighborhood   Well, maybe I shouldn't   Yeah, of course I should      Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot   I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block   That's when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking   I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking   You should've seen this girl's bodily dimensions   I honked my horn just to get her attention      She said, "Was that for me?"   I said, "Yeah"   She said, "Why?"   I said, "Come on and take a ride with a helluva guy"   She said, "How do I know you're not sick?   You could be some deranged lunatic"      I said, "C'mon toots, my name is the Prince   Beside, would a lunatic have a Porsche like this?"   She agreed and we were on our way   She was looking very good and so was I   I must say, word      We hit McDonald's, pulled into the drive   We ordered two Big Macs and two large fries with Cokes   She kicked her shoes off onto the floor   She said, "Drive fast, speed turns me on"   She put her hand on my knee, I put my foot on the gas   We almost got whiplash, I took off so fast      The sun roof was open, the music was high   And this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh   She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far   I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car   We're doing ninety in my mom's new Porsche   And to make this long story short, short      When the cop pulled me over, I was scared as hell   I said, "I don't have a license but I drive very well, officer"   I almost had a heart attack that day   Come to find out the girl was a twelve year old runaway   I was arrested, the car was impounded   There was no way for me to avoid being grounded      My parents had to come off from vacation to get me   I'd rather be in jail than to have my father hit me   My parents walked in   I got my grip, I said, "Ah, mom, dad, how was your trip?"   They didn't speak, I said, "I want to plead my case"   But my father just shoved me in the car by my face      That was a hard ride home, I don't know how I survived   They took turns, one would beat me while the other was driving   I can't believe it, I just made a mistake   Well, parents are the same no matter time nor place   So to you all the kids all across the land   Take it from me, parents just don't understand