You know parents are the same      No matter time nor place      They don't understand that us kids      Are going to make some mistakes      So to you, all the kids all across the land      There's no need to argue      Parents just don't understand      I remember one year      My mom took me school shopping      It was me, my brother, my mom, oh, my pop, and my little sister      All hopped in the car      We headed downtown to the Gallery Mall      My mom started bugging with the clothes she chose      I didn't say nothing at first      I just turned up my nose      She said, "What's wrong? This shirt cost $20"      I said, "Mom, this shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar!"      The next half hour was the same old thing      My mother buying me clothes from 1963      And then she lost her mind and did the ultimate      I asked her for Adidas and she bought me Zips!      I said, "Mom, what are you doing, you're ruining my rep"      She said, "You're only sixteen, you don't have a rep yet"      I said, "Mom, let's put these clothes back, please"      She said "no, you go to school to learn not for a fashion show"      I said, "This isn't Sha Na Na, come on Mom, I'm not Bowzer      Mom, please put back the bell-bottom Brady Bunch trousers      But if you don't want to I can live with that but      You gotta put back the double-knit reversible slacks"      She wasn't moved - everything stayed the same      Inevitably the first day of school came      I thought I could get over, I tried to play sick      But my mom said, "No, no way, uh-uh, forget it"      There was nothing I could do, I tried to relax      I got dressed up in those ancient artifacts      And when I walked into school, it was just as I thought      The kids were cracking up laughing at the clothes Mom bought      And those who weren't laughing still had a ball      Because they were pointing and whispering      As I walked down the hall      I got home and told my Mom how my day went      She said, "If they were laughing you don't need the,      "Cause they're not good friends"      For the next six hours I tried to explain to my Mom      That I was gonna have to go through this about 200 more times      So to you all the kids all across the land      There's no need to argue      Parents just don't understand      Oh-kay, here's the situation      My parents went away on a week's vacation and      They left the keys to the brand new Porsche      Would they mind?      Umm, well, of course not      I'll just take it for a little spin      And maybe show it off to a couple of friends      I'll just cruise it around the neighborhood      Well, maybe I shouldn't      Yeah, of course I should      Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot      I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block      That's when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking      I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking      You should've seen this girl's bodily dimensions      I honked my horn just to get her attention      She said, "Was that for me?"      I said, "Yeah"      She said, "Why?"      I said, "Come on and take a ride with a helluva guy"      She said, "How do I know you're not sick?      You could be some deranged lunatic"      I said, "C'mon toots - my name is the Prince =      Beside, would a lunatic have a Porsche like this?"      She agreed and we were on our way      She was looking very good and so was I, I must say - word      We hit McDonald's, pulled into the drive      We ordered two Big Macs and two large fries with Cokes      She kicked her shoes off onto the floor      She said, "Drive fast, speed turns me on"      She put her hand on my knee, I put my foot on the gas      We almost got whiplash, I took off so fast      The sun roof was open , the music was high      And this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh      She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far      I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car      We're doing ninety in my Mom's new Porsche      And to make this long story short - short      When the cop pulled me over I was scared as hell      I said, "I don't have a license but I drive very well, officer"      I almost had a heart attack that day      Come to find out the girl was a twelve-year-old runaway      I was arrested, the car was impounded      There was no way for me to avoid being grounded      My parents had to come off from vacation to get me      I'd rather be in jail than to have my father hit me      My parents walked in      I got my grip, I said, "Ah, Mom, Dad, how was your trip?"      They didn't speak      I said, "I want to plead my case"      But my father just shoved me in the car by my face      That was a hard ride home, I don't know how I survived      They took turns -      One would beat me while the other one was driving      I can't believe it, I just made a mistake      Well parents are the same no matter time nor place      So to you all the kids all across the land      Take it from me      Parents just don't understand