Look at me now   Four years of college   Famous professors   Tutoring me      Scholarship kid   Everything paid for   Food and vacations   All of it free      Day that I left   Everyone gathered   Their cheering still rings in my ears      Ray Wreck rah   Rah Wreck Ray   Rah Wreck   Wreck rah   Rah Wreck, Wreck   Wreck, we love you      'Cause I could pass that football   Like nothin' you have ever seen      Couldn't spell a lick   Couldn't do arithmetic   One and one made three   Thought that dog was C A T      But I could pass that football   Like nothin' you have ever seen      Couldn't write my name   Couldn't translate 'je vous aime'   Never learned to read   Mother Goose or Andre Gide      But I could pass that football   Like nothin' you have ever seen      Couldn't figure riddles   Puzzles made me pout   Where the hell was Moses   When the lights went out?      I couldn't even tell red from green   Get those verbs through my bean   But I was buddies with the dean   Like nothin' you have ever seen      Passed without a fuss   English Lit. and Calculus   Never had to cram   Even passed the bar exam      'Cause I passed that football   Like nothin' you have ever seen      Couldn't dance for beans   Mashed my girls to smithereens   Sometimes blood was spilled   Still my card was always filled      'Cause I could pass that football   Like nothin' you have ever seen      Then there was the week   Albert Einstein came to speak   'Relativity'   Guess who introduced him? Me      'Cause I could pass that football   Like nothin' you have ever seen      Had no table manners   Used to dunk my roll   Always drunk the water from the fingerbowl      Though I would not get up for any she   The prexy's Mom, age ninety-three   Got up and gave her seat to me   Like nothin' you did ever see      In our hall of fame   There's a statue with my name   There we stand, by heck   Lincoln, Washington and Wreck      'Cause I could pass that football   Like nothin' you have ever, ever seen