Go home!   Go West!   Go back where you came from!   Oh, why did you ever leave Ohio?      A million kids just like you   Come to town every day   With stars in their eyes      They're going to conquer the city   They're going to grab off the Pulitzer prize   But it's a terrible pity   Because they're in for a bitter surprise      And their stories all follow one line   Like his   Like his   Like mine      Born in Duluth, natural writer   Published at seven, genius type   Wrote the school play, wrote the school paper   Summa cum laude, all of that tripe      Came to New York   Got on the staff here   This was my chance to be heard   And since then I haven't written a word      What a waste!   What a waste!   What a waste of money and time!      Man from Detroit   Wonderful artist   Went to Picasso   Pablo said, "Wow!"      Settled in France   Bought him a beret   Lived in Montmartre   Really learned how      Came to New York   Had an exhibit   Art critics made a big fuss   Now he paints those toothpaste ads on the bus      What a waste!   What a waste!   What a waste of money and time!      Girl from Mobile   Versatile actress   Tragic or comic   Any old play      Suffered and starved   Met Stanislavsky   He said the world would   Cheer her some day      Came to New York   Repertoire ready   Chekov's and Shakespeare's and Wilde's   Now they watch her flipping flapjacks at Childs      What a waste!   What a waste!   What a waste of money and time!      Kid from Cape Cod   Fisherman's family   Marvelous singer   Big baritone      Rented his boat   Paid for his lessons   Starved for his studies   Down to the bone      Came to New York   Aimed at the opera   Sing "Rigoletto" his wish   At the Fulton Market now he yells, "Fish!"      What a waste!   What a waste!   What a waste of money and   (Fish)      Go home!   Go West!   Go back where you came from!   Go home!