Yeah, I'm such a liar   One time I told you   You were the highlight   Of all of my sexual life      While I'm confessing   When you're undressing   I was picking the lock   On your safe with my knife   Einstein      If you're so naive   That you believe   Everything I said to you   Well, I got your sex   And wrote you rubber checks   Well, what did you think   I was gonna do      My reputation for exaggeration   It never got to you   That's why I left Duluth   Sometimes I stretch the truth      My dearest darling   You know that luggage   It belonged to the blond   With the really nice pair   And incidentally   I sorely missed you   The pain was so hard to bear      If I would rate you   Not that I hate you   But you would end up   Eighth, maybe ninth in your class      Your build is hot now   If you could use your   Brain like you use your ass      Oh, you're so naive   How could you believe   Everything I said to you      My reputation for exaggeration   It never got to you   Sometimes I'm so uncouth   Sometimes I stretch the truth      Hey, I'm such a liar   One time I told you   You were the highlight   Of all of my sexual life      I'm remarkably insincere   Incredibly insincere   Totally insincere   Oh don't take it so hard, my dear   I'm consistently insincere