Now John Mellancamp, once Johnny Cougar   Get a life, your music sounds like a booger   The first time I saw you was on Pop-Up Video(tm)   Mom thought you were okay, but I thought you were shitty-o      And Caroline thought you were blind   She only learned diff'rent with the passage of time   Caroline...time...blind!      That singer R. Kelly likes underage girls   I heard he peed on them and that made me hurl!   "Trapped in the Closet" was an urban opera   With singles like that, it's no wonder he's popular      And Eleanor thought he was blind   She only learned diff'rent with the passage of time   Eleanor...time...blind!      But Dan never thought they were blind   He never relied on the passage of time   Dan...time...wise!