She makes a lot of abstract art   She haggles for the cheapest price   She never orders take out food   Before ten o'clock at night      She's really into snowmobiles   She owns a lot of nice flashlights   She cares for all the stupid cats   That never found their way home      She shaves her legs with Ginsu knives   She quotes a lot of Annie Hall   She misplaced her virginity   Back in 1995      She's what's keeping me alive   She's the pizza of my eyes   Without her near me   I would not survive      It gets cold when she's not around   I float until I sink and I'm swallowed up   It's so cold when she's not around   I wait for her to come home and tell me I'll be fine      She's always eating Captain Crunch   She sings a lot of Ben Folds Five   She's scared to death of cobra snakes   Just like Indiana Jones      She tells the dumbest knock-knock jokes   She drinks a lot of Chardonnay   She hates the way I comb my hair   But she married me last June      She was the bride, I was the groom   I cried a lot and then we spooned   Without her in my life   I would be doomed      It gets cold when she's not around   I float until I sink and I'm swallowed up   It's so cold when she's not around   I wait for her to come home and tell me I'll be fine   Tell me I'll be fine      She loves the smell of Christmas trees   She sneezes when she sees bright lights   She fainted on the kitchen floor   When her father passed away      Our baby girl is due this May   And when the little lady grows up   I hope that she will be   Just like her mother