Learn to love me, assemble the ways   Now, today, tomorrow and always   My only weakness is a listed crime   My only weakness is well, never mind, never mind, oh      Shoplifters of the world, unite and take over   Shoplifters of the world, hand it over   Hand it over, hand it over      Learn to love me, assemble the ways   Now, today, tomorrow and always   My only weakness is a list of crimes   But last night the plans of a future war   Was all I saw run Channel Four      Shoplifters of the world, unite and take over   Shoplifters of the world, hand it over   Hand it over, hand it over      A heartless hand on my shoulder, a push and it's over   Alabaster crashes down, six months is a long time   I tried living in the real world instead of a shell   But before I began, I was bored before I even began      Shoplifters of the world, unite and take over   Shoplifters of the world, unite and take over   Shoplifters of the world, unite and take over   Shoplifters of the world, take over