What a surpriser   Open your eyes, A   Woman advisor      The name of this entertainment is women lose weight   Our first years of marriage everything was just great   But after two kids and the weight gain factor   The fact is now she's completely unattractive   Look, fat chicks, I don't mean to sound rude   I tell her nice hit the gym and don't eat so much food   But no, 'You're shallow, you need to run the course of unconditional love and    so forth'   But how, If desire's not there that's just delayment   Divorce is, child support, alimony payments   My happiness I doubt discouraged   So hurry for an easier way out of this marriage      Meanwhile my secretary June, well groomed   'When you gonna leave your wife?'   I tell her soon monny soon I assume   Or my destiny is blue   Interestingly the only thing left for me to do    Is to kill her      What a surpriser   Open your eyes, A   Woman advisor      I'm going to have to kill her   Of course there's laws which enforces divorces   I'm send that ass right   To the morgue miss   My plans against or shenanigans kinda ran thin   Knowing nothing about poisoning and I can't swim   Bad intentions pumping, might as wall become numb   Cut her lungs or the obvious robbery gone wrong   But the catch is do I have the nerve to dispatch this    Who can I get to help me murder this fat chick?   I guess I'll have to play a dude robbing   On Wednesday the day she usually goes food shopping   Anyway, long story shor; hit the side of her Chrysler   And sent it clean over the divider   You bastard she said as the wreck went tumbling down the hill   I thought she has to be dead   Later on, ger a call from a Lieutenant O'Rourke   Had me leaping like a frog   "We need you at the morgue'   So I selfishly pursue   Boo Hoo there was nothing else left for me to do   I have to kill her      What a surpriser      Screaming who done took my heart   Acting shaken up a lot      At the funeral, though everyone was looking at me odd   Like I did it   Like I was the reason my mates slain   Murmuring, I heard he was displeased with her weight gain   While my secretary, sort of a sexy blonde, can't look    All she doea is order from restaurants   All of the sex you want    I doubt could address   Clothes not washed proper and house look a mess   And talking to detectives that was waiting outside   How I took a long lunch break day the wife died   I darn near turned pale   And because of betrayal   They indicted me and gave me an impossible bail      Good fortune to anyone admiring the rawtent   Moral of the story is desire is important   So watch your weight it will keep your mate smitten   It's a given   Though looking back I realise I didn't have to kill her      What a surpriser      Well there you have it   Keep trim keep your marriages healthy   You know what I mean   A small message from Morcheeba adn Slick Rick ruler      Peace