Doctor, there's something wrong with me   My health is not all that it used to be   My heart is out of beat, I got chokers on my feet   My eyesight's getting dimmer, I can't see   Doctor thanks for seeing me today, I'm glad,   I've got every sickness there is to be had   I had whooping cough last month   And today I've got the mumps   And tomorrow I'll catch chicken pox as well.   Doctor doctor doctor make me well   I've not got long to go now I can tell   Doctor doctor doctor make me well   I've not got long to go I can tell   I've not got long to go I can tell   Those pills I took have no effect at all   Just the other day I had a nasty fall   And I think I broke my jaw when it hit the kitchen floor   And I'm shrinking last week I was five foot four   I've been getting shivers lately, is it flu?   I know the bug is going round, what can I do?   And it's bound to pick on me, I've still got the other three   Do you think if I caught smallpox I'd get flu?   [chorus]   Do you think it's time that I made out my will?   I'll leave everything to you to pay my bill   Just how long is there to go   Please tell me I want to know   But on second thoughts don't tell me, I'm too ill.