When you say goodbye I really want to know   Everything you do and everyplace you go   And did you take a regular supply   Of those crazy little tampax with you   It hurts me deep inside, it hurts me outside too   I feel a little pardon and I feel a little used   If you ever needed someone to polish up your shoes   I'll be waiting, with my brush      I'd move to Italy with you if I had the money   But 'til then I'll sit at home and read maps and go to pub   Where the weather isn't sunny and the weather isn't bad   Where the bellies look so happy but the faces look so sad   But it doesn't really matter what's outside   'Cause I'm in here and he's in here   And she's in here and they're in here   We're all in here, we're all so glad      And in our own funny way we're all in Italy anyway   Eating fancy pasta, climbing mountain ranges   Drinking ice-cold lagers, living in Spanish castles   We're all with you, in our thoughts   In white ankle socks and pink Bermuda shorts   I'll be with you, with you one day, we'll all be with you, with you one day   One sunny beach, one sunny life, we're all glad for you   But 'til then, we're all glad for you, I'm so glad      I am a man, and I have a tent, I have a ball and a bat   I have a li-lo, I have a bucket   I have a good, good, good pair of trunks   I've got a good, good pair of trunks      Well here I am at the airport, with my passport   I have a brain but only just, and we're all glad   We're all so glad, I'm so glad, she's so glad, he's so glad   You know how glad I am?