You want something corny?   You got it      There's a house on my street   And it looks real neat   I'm the chap who lives in it   There's a tree on the sidewalk   There's a car by the door   I'll go for a drive in it   And when the wombat comes   He will find me gone   He'll look for a place to sit      My wife has burned the scrambled eggs   The dog just bit my leg   My teenage daughter ran away   My fine young son has turned out gay      Cut off my fingers in the   Door of my car   How could I do it?   My wife is proud to tell me   Of her love affairs   How could she do this to me?      My wife has burned the scrambled eggs   The dog just bit my leg   My teenage daughter ran away   My fine young son has turned out gay   And it would be OK on any other day   And it would be OK on any other day      Throw down the morning papers   And spill my tea   I don't know what's wrong with me   The cups and plates are in a   Conspiracy   I'm covered in misery      My wife has burned the scrambled eggs   The dog just bit my leg   My teenage daughter ran away   My fine young son has turned out gay   And it would be OK on any other day   And it would be OK on any other day   And it would be OK on any other day