Typewriter torment, dreadful disease   Caught it the first day I touched the keys   You wear down your fingers and churn out your pap   It eats up your life like a dose of the clap   Typewriter torment it tortures me still   If only my doctor could see that I'm ill      Typewriter fever it harries me still   If only my doctor would give me a pill      Typewriter fever gives birth to a flood   It sweeps through your body and curdles your blood   You curse and discurse but you're damned for all time   The moment your fingers give birth to a rhyme   Typewriter fever it harries me still   If only my doctor would give me a pill      Typewriter fever I'm worn to a stub   I've dumped my thesaurus and pulled out the plug   I'm rending my ribbon and bending my spool   Don't bother rewinding: I'm done with it all   But why can't my doctor just say that I'm ill?    Typewriter fever is paying his bill.