Barbe! Help me please!  Your show is an avenue for the prostitute in me  You want to see my private parts?  Or see the girl that broke my heart?  She's drilling me just to make your day  But I don't care 'cause I like to pay    Is schlager in or schlager out?  Do you care what it's all about?  Or are you bored beyond belief  'cause your home, sick and need relief?    I am a Talk Show Prostitute  I opened up my cloak to fill your inner needs  I am a Talk Show Prostitute  You iron one more shirt and watch commercial dirt  I am a Talk Show Prostitute  I fill the empty spaces in your boring life    Is this the future on T.V.?  You watch as I exploit me here  My friend, it's public larceny  Kick back while I get my feet  My world is open for the mass  You suckers now can kiss my ass  The pay-check's coming in the mail  The money's good - but the themes are stale    I am a Talk Show Prostitute  I opened up my cloak to fill your inner needs  I am a Talk Show Prostitute  You iron one more shirt and watch commercial dirt  I am a Talk Show Prostitute  I fill the empty spaces in your boring life    Meiser! Help me please!  Your show is an avenue for the prostitute in me    I am a Talk Show Prostitute  I opened up my cloak to fill your inner needs  I am a Talk Show Prostitute  You iron one more shirt and watch commercial dirt  I am a Talk Show Prostitute  I fill the empty spaces in your boring life