Wanna tell a story 'bout a girl named Sheila  Lovely li'l thing but a bit of a dreamer  She's been married for three long years  Got three children and they're all little dears, but  Now she's bored with her married bliss, so  She goes out on the town, has a bit of this and that  The guy meant nothing, one night stand  Test turned blue, got much more on her hands    Uh-oh, it's all gone wrong, and  Uh-oh, it's all gone wrong, and  Uh-oh, it's all gone wrong  It's all gone wrong    Derrick knew she worked at the supermarket  So while out on a drive decided to go and park it  Down by the river, walk to the store  Never got the courage up to talk to her before, but  He'd been up practising all last night  Planning what he's gonna say, making sure it sounded right  As he turned the corner by the milk and orange juice  She's playing tonsil hockey with the spotty guy from fresh produce    Jon was a guy that fully understood, that  The car that you drive is an extension of your manhood  As you can imagine, never left no doubt  Enter the equation when he drove his Cadillac about  Pretty damn long, pretty damn wide  Two silver lightning bolts painted down the sides  Imagine his grief, pity his pain, when  Both broke down one morning and never started up again    Fred played guitar in his best mate's band  They knew that they'd go far, all they needed was a helping hand  While practising one evening, there's a knock at the door  Opened up to see a guy, no one there had seen before  Introduced himself as 'Bob the talent-scout'  Handed them a form, told them they should fill it out  Now they're still practising in Fred's back room  Owe ten thousand quid, Bailiffs will be calling soon