We had to book a holiday, but we were sick o'Whitley bay  We fancied the Mediterranean.  All the vacancies had gone, that's all the vacancies but one  A Vacancy for which we didn't plan.    WHAT COULD WE DO? WE COULD HITCH, A RIDE BACK HOME FROM MOSKVITCH  WE HAD TO STAY & FACE THE COST & SUNBATHE IN THE RUSSIAN FROST.    [Chorus:]  One one one ONE NIGHT IN MOSCOW, & WE'LL BE RUSSIAN HOME  One one one ONE NIGHT IN MOSCOW  I'll be Russian, YOU'LL BE RUSSIAN, WE'LL ALL BE RUSSIAN HOME    The brochure said it's nice & warm, you need no Russian uniform  We had the flu & caught a Russian cough,  No fish n'chips or decent pubs, We called the hotel Wormwood Scrubs  We said we would complain to Gorbochof.    WE COULDN'T FIND A DISCO ANYWHERE, NO McDONALDS OR A WIMPY IN RED SQUARE  WE MUST HAVE BEEN POTTY TO HAVE GONE TO THE SOVIET UNION.  [Chorus]    For a pint & Coronation Street  RUSSIAN HOME  A Bacon Sarny & as much as we can eat  RUSSIAN HOME  [Guitar Bit]