Well, that big dumb blonde with Gorgeous George  And Turtle, a friend of theirs, with his cheques all forged  And his cheeks in a trunk with a cheese in the cash  You're all gonna be there at that million dollar bash, and it's  (Chorus)  Ooh baby, ooh-ee  Ooh baby, ooh-ee  It's that million dollar bash  Everybody from right now go over there and back  The louder they come, well the bigger they crack  Come now, ?sweet pea?, and don't forget the flash  We're all gonna meet at that million dollar bash  (Chorus)  Well, I took my counsellor out to the barn  Silly Nelly was there, she told him a yarn  Then along came Jones and emptied the trash  Everybody went down to that million dollar bash  (Chorus)  Well, I been hittin' it too hard, you know, my ?sloes? won't take  I get up in the morning, bit too early to wake  First it's "Hello", then "Goodbye", they push and they crash  But everybody's gonna make it to that million dollar bash  (Chorus)  Well, I looked at my watch then I looked at my wrists  Punched myself in my face with my fists and I  Took my taters back a-home to be mashed  But then I made it right on to that million dollar bash  (Chorus)  (Chorus)  (Chorus)