A dead loss, no songs   No fun, just glum   Lying next to someone   So dont mention the War   Don't question where we stand   Nor where we fall   North, South, East where's best?   If I head left   It turns out directionless      So, needle point aside   I always find   Embroidery leaves me blind   'Cos I'm too weary to rest   Since I noticed   Coming second best is close to ideal      What fools boredom breeds   So much to do   So many goldfish to feed   And paracetamol   I'll take them all   They line my stomach wall   'Cos I'm too weary to rest   Since I noticed   Coming second best is close to ideal (la la la....)      With customary thirst   I search a water glass   But gin hits first   Oh don't believe the hype   Expectancy always spoil a party      It's torniquet (by crochet)   My waters break   Don't drive for pity's sake   'Cos I'm too weary to rest   Since I noticed   Coming second best   Is close to ideal (la la la....)