You hear so many rumors sometimes you get confused  But I read it in Time Magazine and I heard it on the news  We'll see dramatic changes in the lifestyle we enjoy  If those megatons of atom bombs are actually employed.  The scenarios are scary, oh, but they don't worry me  Since I received a pamphlet from a federal agency  It's got diagrams and checklists and I read it front to back  And it told me what to do in case of nuclear attack: Just  CHORUS:  Dig a hole in the ground, and climb right on down  Lay some boards on top of you and sprinkle dirt around  You won't have to be dead if you only plan ahead  You'll be glad you kept a shovel on hand!  Now you can't just go picking any old place to dig your hole  Got to take a ride to the countryside to the town where you are told  If your plates are odd-numbered please don't panic, you'll be fine  Just politely let those even-numbered cars go first in line  If you don't have a car, just hail a cab or ride your bike  You can climb aboard the Amtrak train, sit back, and enjoy the sights  You and thousands of your city friends will be welcomed cordially  By townfolk who will show you country hospitality--then  CHORUS  We're sure to give you notice up to seven days before  But it's wise to recognize the warning signs of nuclear war  If the temperature is rising in a flash of blinding light  Grab your toothbrush and a flashlight and shut the windows tight  If the wind is blowing wicked and there's buildings in the air  Blisters on you body, fire in your hair  If the tupperware is melting and your dinner plans are wrecked  Stay calm, it's time to put this foolproof plan into effect: Just  CHORUS