He's a friend to all the stars   Made a fortune selling cars   Not beyond a little sleaze   He's Mr. White Keys      Wifey loves the tanning booth   Just a little altered truth   Made America's "Who's Who"   If he can do it so can you      Sheltered in taxs brakets   Higher than an angel's cloud   Pontificates on rackets   And cheats on his wife with his pals      Once he met a musician   Shook his hand like a soul man   Not a lot like you or me   He's Mr. White Keys      He climbs into daddy's Benz and goes collecting the rents of those welfare cheats      A lot of trouble when he tries to find the beat   He dances like a shovel with a couple left feet   He said he'd rather own the whole damn town   Than be graceful or be well-endowed      He exaggerates a bit   Foot and mouth a perfect fit   He's the one who tried the cheese   He's Mister White Keys      [Instrumental]      I feel sorry for the guy   I laugh when I see his shtick   All that poor bastard wanted   Was to make it with the beautiful chicks   But that don't excuse the prick   He's Mr. White Keys (3 times)      He's Mr. White Keys (3 times)      He's Mr. White Keys (3 times)      He climbs into daddy's Benz and goes collecting the rents of those Welfare cheats