I'm going back to church tonight   Just like back when I was eight   But I don't mean to pray   I'm gonna nick the collection plate      I've got nothing against church   Only people who go there    and show they're   Plain ignorant and don't understand   a congregation at weekends won't change their behaviour   So many people are weak enough to have    to seek answers from the peddlers of hope   I should know    I had to go there myself   Not since the day I became antipope      Theres gonna be some fun tonight   Spead the news around the town   That the vicar's a transvestite   With a fetish for robes and gowns      I've got nothing against church   Only people who go there    and show they're   Plain ignorant and don't understand   a congregation at weekends won't change their behaviour   So many people are weak enough to have    to seek answers from the peddlers of hope   I should know    I had to go there myself   Not since the day I became antipope      Religion doesn't mean a thing   Its just another way of being right wing   I think sex films are okay   I don't dig that pope no way      I've got nothing against church   Only people who go there    and show they're   Plain ignorant and don't understand   a congregation at weekends won't change their behaviour   So many people are weak enough to have    to seek answers from the peddlers of hope   I should know    I had to go there myself   Not since the day I became antipope