An old man turned ninety eight    He won the Lottery and died the next day    It's a black fly in your Chardonnay    It's a death row pardon two minutes too late    And isn't it ironic?   Don't you think?       It's like rain on your wedding day    It's a free ride when you've already paid    It's the good advice that you just didn't take    And who would've thought? It figures.      Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly    He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye    He waited his whole damn life to take that flight    And as the plane crashed down, he thought    "Well, isn't this nice?"    And isn't it ironic?   Don't you think?       It's like rain on your wedding day    It's a free ride when you've already paid    It's the good advice that you just didn't take    And who would've thought? It figures.      Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you    When you think everything's okay and everything's going right    And life has a funny way of helping you out   When you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face.       A traffic jam when you're already late    A 'no smoking' sign on your cigarette break    It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife    It's meeting the man of my dreams...and then meeting his beautiful wife    And isn't it ironic?   Don't you think?    A little too ironic...and yeah, I really do think.      It's like rain on your wedding day    It's a free ride when you've already paid    It's the good advice that you just didn't take    Who would've thought? It figures.      Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you    Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out    Helping you out.