"Give God the first portion of your income, say that with me"   "Give God the first portion of your income"   "Give it first, not after the deducts   Not after the social security"      And the hospitalization, and the malnutrition   Not after all these things on ya check, ya say   'I'ma give God a little what's left   You do and that's what you gonna get from God"      Who am I? I'm not the Devil   I can take you to my level   Above the rocks, above the earth   Tell me what your soul is worth      How much money do you make?   How much will you let me take?   I will give you tranquility   Just send your wealth and checks to me      Life is going to expire   And your soul will burn in fire   You will perish in the thunder   Unless you call my hotline number      God has asked you to make me rich   Me and my fat-rat gaudy bitch   On your TVs late at night   Send those checks, and I'll guide you to the light      "Don't put away your wallets just yet, brothers and sisters   There's somebody here I'd like all of you to meet   This is little Jonathan, Jonathan   Say hello to the lovely people"      "Hello", "Jonathan has problems, twisted neck   Tangled legs, crooked spine but we can heal this boy   For just, six thousand dollars   We can heal this boy"      God called me and then stopped by   And He told me you're gonna die   Unless you buy My holy water   Check, cash or a money order      This is true, don't question me   I'll even send you shit for free   It's only ten bucks for the call   And I'll send a prayer, no charge at all      Put your lips up to the screen   Close your eyelids, and intervene   Your lips to mine, now send the cash   And while you're there, you can kiss my ass      Take your paycheck, and send me half   And I'll send you God's autograph   I'll get you Allah's, and Buddah's too   Even Zeus, I dont give a fuck who   Just send me that money      "Would you like to be healed, little Jonathan?"   "Yeah, Reverend", "You see, brothers and sisters, this   Excuse me I told him never to page me on a Sermon Day   Yes? Uh huh, Hallelujah, outtie, people, that was the Lord   Today only, He will heal this boy, for just five thousand dollars"      Pass the collection plate   (Show me how you give)   Pass the collection plate   (Give, give, give)      Pass the collection plate   (Show me how you give)   Pass the collection plate   (Show me how you give)   (I'll tell you how to live)      Your total's twenty-two eleven   For your set of keys to Heaven   Make the checks out in my name   Me or God it's all the same      Bring your crippled ass to me   Pay my usher the holy fee   I'll bless your legs, and bless your chair   Then wheel your bitch-ass outta here      Now a special ceremony   This part don't cost any money   Drip a drop of blessed water   Now I fertilize your daughter      Even though I fucked a hooker   Took your baby girl and shook her   You still buy everything I sell   And I'm livin' well, see you in Hell      "Four-thousand eight-hundred, nine-hundred   Five thousand, Hallelujah! You did it, brothers and sisters   Are you ready, Jonathan?", "Yes Reverend"   "Lord almighty, we've met Your price"      Give me the healing power, I can feel it Lord   Rumilumilamanamanumi! This boy is healed   Now, to the naked eye, it would appear   That this boy has not been healed      But I can assure you   This boy's spirit has been healed, inside this tangled   Mangled frame is a healed little boy, his spirit is healed Hallelujah!"