I was never popular, this I'll admit, fuck school never liked me, Goo   All the kids would always beat me, until I'm half-dead   Make fun of the size of my forehead   But that shit never bothered me, Mama and Mother   They had a lot of property   They had a science lab in the basement   And that's where my free ti well, my time was spent   I made a mouse with a chicken head   It clucked three times CLUCK, CLUCK, CLUCK   And then it was dead   I made a lot of things though, like a frog with a turkey neck   Gobblegobblegobble, it was the shit (yeah)   But I'm still lonely, I need a homie   So I collected limbs and made a zombie   I could've made a girlie friend   But fuck that, I got my girlie right here yeah      You can call me Mad Professor   I will make a friend for me   You can call me Mad Professor   We will rule eternity      I used so many body parts it was crazy   I killed a whole bunch of mother fuckers , like what, eighty?   They all chipped in on my special friend   Everything helps, Even if you got a finger to lend, come on   I hear the other children playing outside   'Keep it down you little bitches, I'll skin your fucking hides!'   ?Stressful?, this part is wack   Some how I gots to attach this nut sack   Shit! Fuck! I'm sawing off an elbow   Looking at the meter I'm like ?Quasar and Ziphalo?   Or better yet look out the fucking window   I see a storms coming, almost time to roll   Screw the head on, come on, come on   It's the thuggish, ruggish, bone   Okay it's time, hit the switch, turn it up a hert   Fuck! Shit! Didn't work      You can call me Mad Professor   I will make a friend for me   You can call me Mad Professor   We will rule eternity      It wasn't always easy (Hell no!) let me tell ya   But fuck that, cause I ain't no failure   I put the shit with the ?things? and this with that   Wait a minute (brrrt) did you hear that?   It's alive! I just gotta wake it up   Hand me that ?rocky rye? pour it in a cup   It will do exactly hold up, pause   I ain't cleaning his draws man, fuck that   Get him fat, get him ready, it's almost time   Paint his ugly face up just like mine   I see him twitching, I'm on a roll   He can help me tell the whole world about the carnival   Turn the hertz all the way up for this shit   And just wait for that lightning bolt to hit   Did it work? You make the call   Shaggy? (What up, y'all!)      You can call me Mad Professor   I will make a friend for me   You can call me Mad Professor   We will rule eternity      You can call me Mad Professor   I will make a friend for me   You can call me Mad Professor   We will rule eternity      You can call me Mad Professor   I will make a friend for me   You can call me Mad Professor   We will rule eternity