Big Ted's dead, he was a great old pig   He'd eat most anything, never wore a wig   Now he's gone like snow on the water, goodbye      He was getting old so the farmer said   "Sold him to the butcher just to make a little bread"   He's gone like snow on the water, don't cry      Ted may be a moo cow next time around   Giving sweet milk to the people in the town   He'll be whatever, he will choose on air or sea or ground      Sows are busy with the piglets fine   I'd put them in the forest now if they were mine   'Cause I know they like acorns, I don't like bacon      Boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy   Boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy   Squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly   Boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy   Sham sham sharoo, oh, sham sham sharoo, Big Ted's sold and gone      He came into the kitchen while we were away   He took all the rice and he forgot to pay   He's gone like snow on the water, goodbye      He never cared to do the boogaloo dance   All he ever thought about was food and romance   And he's gone like snow on the water, goodbye      Ted may be a moo cow next time around   Giving sweet milk to the people in the town   He'll be whatever he will choose on air or sea or ground      The sows are busy with the piglets fine   I'd put them in the forest now if they were mine   'Cause I know they like acorns and I don't like bacon      Boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy   Boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy   Squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly   Boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy   Sham sham sharoo, oh, sham sham sharoo, Big Ted's sold and gone   Sham sham sharoo, oh, sham sham sharoo, Big Ted's sold and gone      Boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy   Boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy   Squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly   Boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy   Sham sham sharoo, sham sham sharoo, Big Ted's sold and gone