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Young gladys was a silky maiden
At thirteen, she was going strong, yeah.
Oh, gladys.

Nicely filled out, fully laden,
But down below there was something wrong, yeah.
Oh, gladys.

Nobody told her about the secrets
That ladies have to hide
Mom had no words to describe the things
That happened inside.
Need someone to help me,
I feel that there's a curse on me, oh.

Went down into the local disco,
For what used to be the one night, yeah,
Oh gladys.

Felt a searching hand to frisk her,
Along the legs of the water line, yeah,
Oh gladys.

Now gladys knew she was in no condition
In no mood to play

I cracked a knee in her soft spot, nothing
Had got in her way.

I want no one to touch me,
I feel there's a curse on me, oh.

Directed down to the local drugstore
Got fixed up, now she's doing fine, yeah
Oh gladys

Equipped with various kinds of apparatus
You know the feminine hygiene kind, yeah
Oh gladys

Must have been a man to do these things
Who won her fall from grace
That day he programmed me
[that lady programmed me? ]
You should have seen the smile on his face
He said ``you'll need someone to help you
When you feel like cursing me'', oh.
Young gladys was a silky maiden   At thirteen, she was going strong, yeah.   Oh, gladys.      Nicely filled out, fully laden,   But down below there was something wrong, yeah.   Oh, gladys.      Nobody told her about the secrets   That ladies have to hide   Mom had no words to describe the things   That happened inside.   Need someone to help me,   I feel that there's a curse on me, oh.      Went down into the local disco,   For what used to be the one night, yeah,   Oh gladys.      Felt a searching hand to frisk her,   Along the legs of the water line, yeah,   Oh gladys.      Now gladys knew she was in no condition   In no mood to play      I cracked a knee in her soft spot, nothing   Had got in her way.      I want no one to touch me,   I feel there's a curse on me, oh.      Directed down to the local drugstore   Got fixed up, now she's doing fine, yeah   Oh gladys      Equipped with various kinds of apparatus   You know the feminine hygiene kind, yeah   Oh gladys      Must have been a man to do these things   Who won her fall from grace   That day he programmed me   [that lady programmed me? ]   You should have seen the smile on his face   He said ``you'll need someone to help you   When you feel like cursing me'', oh.