A small cigar can change the world   I know, I've done it frequently at parties   Where I've won all the guests' attention   With my generosity and suave gentlemanly bearing   A little flat tin case is all you need   Breast-pocket conversation opener   And one of those ciggie lighters that look rather good   You can throw away when empty   Must be declared a great success   My small cigars all vanish within minutes      Excuse me, mine host, that I may visit   A nearby tobacconist   To replenish my supply of small cigars   And make the party swing again      I know my clothes seem shabby   And don't fit this hampstead soiree   Where unread copies of rolling stone   Well-thumbed playboys   Decorate the hi-fi stereo record shelves   If you ask me they're on their way   To upper-middle-class oblivion   The stupid twits, they roll their only   One cigarette between them   My small cigar's redundant now   In the haze of smoking pleasure   Call it a day   Get the hell away   Go down the cafe   For a cup of real tea      By the tube station, there's a drunk old fool   Who sells papers in the rush hour   I hand to him ten small cigars   He smiles, says, ``son, God bless you''      A small cigar   Has changed his world, my friend   A small cigar   Has changed the world again      A small cigar . . .