When you're ready for steady to go dancin', romancin'   Grab your sweetheart and jump in your car   Drive right on down to the bright side of town   You'll be glad you don't have to drive far   You'll be happy you don't have to go far      Park your pick-ups and Cadillacs and fords and Renaults   Get out and dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz      My pickup needs a tune-up, I better get up and make up   My mind to get on it today   The tractor's been actin' up and the sewer lines are backin' up   But I'll be dancin' tonight anyway   I'll be dancin' tonight anyway      'Cause I count my blessings, I don't count my faults   I like to dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz      Well I found a young cow-dog an' I told him, "Now, now dog   You're a borderline collie, I'm a borderline fool?   But he had some bad habits, he was scared of jack rabbits   I sent him off to canine school   I think they call it obedience school      But when he came back he couldn't tell a cow from a horse   But he could dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz      Grand mammy, grand pappy if you wanna stay happy   Better lace up your best dancin' shoes   Come see us, don't write us, you can stop your arthritis   Just by dancin' away your blues   Now ,just by dancin' away your blues      So bind up your bunions with band-aids and gauze   And come on, dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz   Oh yeah, hey Mama      I met a fine lady banker and I'd sure like to thank her   For the credit she gave me made me shout   She changed my whole attitude and to show her my little gratitude   I decided I'd just ask her out   Yeah, I thought I just might ask her out      I said, ?Close up your windows and lock up your vaults   And lets go dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz?      We spent the next to last dollar in the old ice cream parlor   On a milkshake and a malt and a pop   And then we heard us some sounds, was a honky tonk lounge   Driving next to the ice cream shop   Next door to the ice cream shop      Now only two things are better than milkshakes and malts   And one is dancin' like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz      And the other is somethin' but really it's nothin'   To speak of, it's somethin' to do   And if you've done it before you'll be doin' it some more   Just as soon as the dancin' is through   Right after the dancin' is through      And if anybody asks you why, just tell 'em because   You been dancin' like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz