Oh, weary me   I'm broke as a man can be   My bills are all due, I got holes in my shoe   Bill collectors, they won't let me sleep      If I could teach my Chihuahua to sing   I could make cash registers ring   What a sight to behold her   She could sit on my shoulder and whimper in harmony      If I can teach my Chihuahua to sing   What a wonderful world, will it would be   I can take her to the border and teach her how to order   Margaritas and Fajitas, Senoritas would bring      The circus is coming to town   The telephone lines are down   While the tight rope they're stretchin'   Well, my puppy is fetchin' the tin cans all scattered around      If I could teach my Chihuahua to sing   The whole would live in peace   Instead of them fightin', everyone would be writin'   Love letters to senators and police      If I could teach my Chihuahua to sing   What brave new world it would be   I could take her to China, on a big jet airliner   And bark in the park 'til the freedom bells ring      If I could teach my Chihuahua to sing   There'd be no more sorrow and grief   I could take her to the border and teach her how to order   Guacamole and Pozole and feel holy and free