I don't want to go out any more   I read the news, I can't believe my eyes   I push the table against the door   You know I've had it with the world outside      If you want to know about the murderers and junkies   If you want to know about the lower east side   Now they got a map shows you where to get your monkey   You can read it in the monday papers, monday papers      Some people like a little gore   Some people always at the scenes of crimes   Now they can watch the tv more   Now they can get it in the sunday times      If you find it hard to handle what you see on page one   You can pull the funnies out and have some laughs   Take a drink and maybe you can laugh at ronald reagan   You can read it in the monday papers, read it in the monday papers      Monday papers don't ask no questions   Monday papers don't get no lies   Monday papers don't raise objection   Monday papers don't got no eyes      Brother's heading that way now I guess   He just read something made his face turn blue   Well I got nothing against the press   They wouldn't print it if it wasn't true      If you want to know about the gay politician   If you want to know how to be a star   Ladies - if you want to know about the new sex position   You can read it in the monday papers, read it in the monday papers      Monday papers don't ask no questions   Monday papers don't get no lies   Monday papers don't raise objection   Monday papers don't got no eyes      Monday papers don't ask no questions   Monday papers don't get no lies   Monday papers don't raise objection   Monday papers don't got no eyes      Read all about it, monday papers