I make my living off the evening news   Just give me something, something I can use   People love it when you lose   They love dirty laundry      Well, I could've been an actor, but I wound up here   I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear   Come and whisper in my ear   Give us dirty laundry      Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down   Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down      Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down   Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em all around      We got the bubble headed bleach blonde who comes on at five   She can tell you about the plane crash with a gleam in her eye   It's interesting when people die   Give us dirty laundry      Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet?   You know, the boys in the newsroom got a running bet   Get the widow on the set   We need dirty laundry      Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down   Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down      Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down   Kick 'em when they're stiff   Kick 'em all around      Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down   Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down      Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down   Kick 'em when they're stiff   Kick 'em all around      Dirty little secrets, dirty little lies   We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie   We love to cut you down to size   We love dirty laundry      We can do the innuendo, we can dance and sing   When it's said and done we haven't told you a thing   We all know that crap is king   Give us dirty laundry      Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down   Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down   Kick 'em when they're up   We love dirty laundry      Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down   Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down   Give us dirty laundry      Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down   Kick 'em when they're up   Kick 'em when they're down   ...