She said, "It's just a woman thing"   And pulled out of the drive   And I said not to worry   I'm an understanding guy      I heard that when you love someone   You gotta let 'em go   She hollered, "When I find myself   You'll be the first to know"   Ooo hooo no news      I learned to do the laundry   Feed the cat and clean the house   I promised to be patient   While she worked her problems out      When she packed her bags   Her destination was unclear   But I sensed that her intentions   Were honest and sincere   Ooo hooo no news      She could telephone, tell a friend   Tell a lie about where she's been   Send a pigeon, send a fax   Write it on a post-it pad   Send a signal up in smoke   Tap it out in Morse code   I'd prefer a bad excuse to no news      Her momma's been a little vague   As to her whereabouts   Her sister says, "I'm certain   Your romance is headed south"      I don't have a single doubt   That she's still in love   My level of anxiety   Is just a product of   Ooo hooo no news      She could telephone, tell a friend   Tell a lie about where she's been   Send a pigeon, send a fax   Write it on a post-it pad   Send a signal up in smoke   Tap it out in Morse code   I'd prefer a bad excuse      She missed her bus, missed her plane   Surely, this can be explained   Lost her car at the mall   Got locked in a bathroom stall   Playing guitar with the band   On the road with pearl jam      Buried with the grateful dead   Came back as a parrot head   Got derailed, got de-iced   Offered as a sacrifice   FBI, CIA, if they've seen her   They ain't saying   No news! Still no news!