We don't believe in ?You know who?   But we don't let the kids know it   We're parents, who are grown ups   There's a line we have to toe it      But we're part of a conspiracy   About this bearded big fat guy   Who isn't real, who never lived   Who's old, but doesn't die      We went to the department store   We climbed out on that limb   Told the kids that it was ?You know who?   We said that bum was him      Then we placed them on his knee   To me, the knee seemed rather bony   Happily they sat though chatting with that phony      Told the kids we could provide the proof   Deceit, how I hate it   We put out the milk and cookies   Yes, I admit I drank and ate it      Then that fib about the North Pole   Is if any Elves could live there   We helped to write and send that letter   Knowing full well, it went nowhere      You know who comes down the chimney   How could such a fat man fit?   The whole thing is preposterous   Yet we get children to buy it   We have no shame, the lies pile up      You think at least we'd bark   When we sing of red nosed reindeer   And snowmen who dance and talk      Well it's just a harmless story   A fairytales and Christmas fun   Not unlike that other theory   The one about Gods Son      Where Angels talk to shepherds   Wise men troop after a star   And a Virgin has a baby   Boy that's fetched pretty far      But we adults buy that conspiracy   We toe and swallow that old line   Disappearing milk and cookies   What about that bread and wine?      It's enough to make you hesitate   It's enough to give you pause   Perhaps it's just as crucial   Kids believe in ?You know who?