What the hell is wrong with me?   I'm not who I want to be   But I tried spot cream an' I tried it all   I'm crawling up the wall!      What's my name?   Name?   Name?      I tried to join a ping-pong club   Sign on the door said all full up!   I got nicked, fighting in the road   An' the judge didn't even know      What's my name?   Name?   Name?      Dad got pissed so I got clocked   Couldn't hear the Tannoy so he lost the lot   Offers Mum a bribe through the letter box   Drives you fucking mad      Now I'm round the back of your house at night   Peeping in the window, are you sleeping tight?   I laugh at your locks with my celloid strip   An' you won't know who came      What's my name?   Name?   Name?      What's my name?   Name?   Name?