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They call me Mr. Carbohydrate
It's the only thing I can digest
Xenophobia or general disinterest
I must catch up with all this stuff

They call me a boring fuck head
They say, I might as well work in a bank
I tell them I wish I was, they tell me that I'm sick in the head
They say that I'm sick in the head

They call me Mr. Carbohydrate
They call me Mr. Inadequate
They call me Mr. Paranoia
They call me Mr. Hypochondria

Have you heard of Matthew Maynard?
He's my favorite cricketer
I would rather watch him play than pick up my guitar
Than play with my guitar

People tell me I should get out more
But the TV is my best friend
Cynicism is the only thing that keeps me sane
The only thing that keeps me sane

They call me Mr. Carbohydrate
They call me Mr. Inadequate
They call me Mr. Paranoia
They call me Mr. Hypochondria

Sometimes I just stay in bed
And think about the day
When I can retire, forgetting everythin'
I'll forget everythin'

Forget everythin'
Forever but not today
When I cannot, cannot say
No more yesterdays
No more yesterdays
They call me Mr. Carbohydrate   It's the only thing I can digest   Xenophobia or general disinterest   I must catch up with all this stuff      They call me a boring fuck head   They say, I might as well work in a bank   I tell them I wish I was, they tell me that I'm sick in the head   They say that I'm sick in the head      They call me Mr. Carbohydrate   They call me Mr. Inadequate   They call me Mr. Paranoia   They call me Mr. Hypochondria      Have you heard of Matthew Maynard?   He's my favorite cricketer   I would rather watch him play than pick up my guitar   Than play with my guitar      People tell me I should get out more   But the TV is my best friend   Cynicism is the only thing that keeps me sane   The only thing that keeps me sane      They call me Mr. Carbohydrate   They call me Mr. Inadequate   They call me Mr. Paranoia   They call me Mr. Hypochondria      Sometimes I just stay in bed   And think about the day   When I can retire, forgetting everythin'   I'll forget everythin'      Forget everythin'   Forever but not today   When I cannot, cannot say   No more yesterdays   No more yesterdays