This didn?t used to be me, old boy   This isn?t what I?d want   Pullin' old night fighters   In a restaurant      There?s smoke and flames behind me   Where the self-respect all went   And I?m behind, behind with the rent      I?ve been stitched up like a kipper, old son   But I won?t be again   Hell hath no fury   Oh, I?m like a lot of men      Now I?m stalkin? this old Doris   With lascivious intent   And I?m behind, behind with the rent      Just a little duck and dive   And a bit of wheel and deal   She?ll remind me I?m alive   She?ll remind me I still feel      Just a little shellin? out   For a bit of you-know-what   I know this is all about   Somethin' that I never got, oh      Well, this crumpet?s past its sell-by-date   But they all would qualify   They?re gonna be lonely   And be happy to comply      She knows that I?m a chancer   Comin? on like a gent   But I?m behind, behind with the rent   Yes, I?m behind, behind with the rent