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This didn?t used to be me, old boy
This isn?t what I?d want
Pullin' old night fighters
In a restaurant

There?s smoke and flames behind me
Where the self-respect all went
And I?m behind, behind with the rent

I?ve been stitched up like a kipper, old son
But I won?t be again
Hell hath no fury
Oh, I?m like a lot of men

Now I?m stalkin? this old Doris
With lascivious intent
And I?m behind, behind with the rent

Just a little duck and dive
And a bit of wheel and deal
She?ll remind me I?m alive
She?ll remind me I still feel

Just a little shellin? out
For a bit of you-know-what
I know this is all about
Somethin' that I never got, oh

Well, this crumpet?s past its sell-by-date
But they all would qualify
They?re gonna be lonely
And be happy to comply

She knows that I?m a chancer
Comin? on like a gent
But I?m behind, behind with the rent
Yes, I?m behind, behind with the rent
This didn?t used to be me, old boy   This isn?t what I?d want   Pullin' old night fighters   In a restaurant      There?s smoke and flames behind me   Where the self-respect all went   And I?m behind, behind with the rent      I?ve been stitched up like a kipper, old son   But I won?t be again   Hell hath no fury   Oh, I?m like a lot of men      Now I?m stalkin? this old Doris   With lascivious intent   And I?m behind, behind with the rent      Just a little duck and dive   And a bit of wheel and deal   She?ll remind me I?m alive   She?ll remind me I still feel      Just a little shellin? out   For a bit of you-know-what   I know this is all about   Somethin' that I never got, oh      Well, this crumpet?s past its sell-by-date   But they all would qualify   They?re gonna be lonely   And be happy to comply      She knows that I?m a chancer   Comin? on like a gent   But I?m behind, behind with the rent   Yes, I?m behind, behind with the rent