My Uncle Charlie is a cynical man   And his wifes a touch skeptical, too.   They've got one of those stickers   In the back of their van; it says:   We've seen the prices at the zoo.   Well today I knocked upon their door   And said that I was passing,   And charlie launched a scathing attack.   When I asked him what I'd done, he said   "You stupid bastard! We live in a cul-de-sac!"      Went to Dali's party; it was fancy dress.   I just stuck an apple in my face.   I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress,   Reckoned he'd beat Gagarin into space.   He said "Hi there boys!   Like I'm sorry I'm late!   But I was getting done up   As a mobile thrash acetate!"   Me, I got bored   So I went home,   Got into bed,   And came to the conclusion...      There is nothing better in life   Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol   There is nothing better in life   Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Biro   There is nothing better in life   Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Biro   There is nothing better in life   Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Biro   On a Saturday Night instead of going to a pub.