[Originally By Paul Simon]      A man walks down the street    He says why am I soft in the middle now    Why am I soft in the middle    The rest of my life is so hard    I need a photo-opportunity    I want a shot at redemption    Don't want to end up a cartoon    In a cartoon graveyard    Bonedigger Bonedigger    Dogs in the moonlight    Far away my well-lit door    Mr. Beerbelly Beerbelly    Get these mutts away from me    You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore    If you'll be my bodyguard    I can be your long lost pal    I can call you Betty    And Betty when you call me    You call me Al    A man walks down the street    He says why am I short of attention    Got a short little span of attention    And wo my nights are so long    Where's my wife and family    What if I die here    Who'll be my role-model    Now that my role-model is    Gone Gone    He ducked back down the alley    With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl    All along along    There were incidents and accidents    There were hints and allegations    If you'll be my bodyguard    I can be your long lost pal    I can call you Betty    And Betty when you call me    You call me Al    Call me Al    A man walks down the street    It's a street in a strange world    Maybe it's the Third World    Maybe it's his first time around    He doesn't speak the language    He holds no currency    He is a foreign man    He is surrounded by the sound    The sound    Cattle in the marketplace    Scatterlings and orphanages    He looks around, around    He sees angels in the architecture    Spinning in infinity    He says Amen! and Hallelujah!    If you'll be my bodyguard    I can be your long lost pal    I can call you Betty    And Betty when you call me    You call me Al    Call me Al