BBQ food is good   You invite me out to eat it, I should   Go, but I'm feeling kind of nervous   And not quite myself   So I'm running late on purpose   And I know this won´t help   How things have become between us   But if I go you'll give me hell   And that I don´t know how to fix it   Is making me unwell, well   I arrive at your house   But you've just got up   And you are wearing a towel   And your eyes look dark   I help to dry your body   And I see your cut   So I give you a plaster   And we cover it up   I say "Have you been crying?"   And you say "Shut Up"   So we sit in the garden   And touch the grass   With our hands      The sun is going down now   And it's been okay   You tell me all these things you did   While I was away   And this worries me somewhat      You say you're fine   Listen   Can you hear it?   Does it speak?   Will I feel it?   Will it hurt?   Am I near it?   I dont know      I dont know how more people haven´t got mental health problems   Thinking is one of those stressful things I've ever come across   And not being able to articulate what I want to say drives me crazy   I think I should try and read more books   And learn some new words   My sister used to read the dictionary   I'm going to start with that   I'd like to travel   I want to see India and the pyramids   A whale and that race with all the bicycles in France   I'm not sure about rivers, they scare me   But I love swimming, I'm good at it   And when I swim I think about numbers   And count the laps   When I was younger I saw a house burnt down   And I walked past it everyday for the next six years   Derelict, black, chalky and dangerous   I wondered if squatters lived there   I'm still not sure but I know there were never any parties cuz it was shit   After a while the council got round to tidying out the town   Making it less offensive here and there   They said it was an eyesore so they let tore it down   Behind the house was a wall with a few bits of crappy graffiti and the word 'Cunt' written on it in giant letters   And now I walk past that      I like sitting in the park   And I like walking through it   I like taking my dogs there   And friends, and I like being alone   I like flowers and simplicity   I like compassion and thoughtful gifts   I like being able to shout   But I wish I could be quiet   When I'm quiet people think I'm sad   And usually I am      Sometimes when I'm at a busy train station   Somewhere big with the noisy trains like King´s Cross   I feel like putting down my bags and shouting things out because I've got something to say   Don't you want to share the guilt?   Don't think, just try and sleep