Back before I was a movie star   Straight off of the farm   I had a picture of another man's wife   Tattooed on my arm      With a pack of Camel cigarettes   In the sleeve of my Tee shirt   I'm headin' out to Hollywood   Just to have my feelings hurt      That town will make you crazy   Just give it a little time   You'll be walking 'round in circles   Down at Hollywood and Vine      You'll be waitin' on a phone call   At the wrong end of a broom   Yes, that town'll make you crazy   Crazy as a loon      So, I headed down to Nashville   To become a country star   Every night you'd find me hangin'   At every honky-tonk and bar      Pretty soon I met a woman   Pretty soon she done me wrong   Pretty soon my life got sadder   Than any country song      That town will make you crazy   Just give it a little time   You'll be walking 'round in circles   Lookin' for that country rhyme      You'll be waitin' on a phone call   At the wrong end of a broom   Yea, that town'll make you crazy   Crazy as a loon      So, I gathered up my savvy   Bought myself a business suit   I headed up to New York City   Where a man can make some loot      I got hired Monday morning   Downsized that afternoon   Overcome with grief that evening   Now I'm crazy as a loon      So I'm up here in the North Woods   Just staring at a lake   Wondering just exactly how much   They think a man can take      I eat fish to pass the time away   'Neath this blue Canadian moon   This old world has made me crazy   Crazy as a loon   Lord, this world will make you crazy   Crazy as a loon