Well, I was sittin' in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas   Was drinkin' Colorado Cool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans   An' we was what's that you say?   What's Colorado Cool-Aid?      Well, it's a can of Coors brewed from a mountain stream   It'll set you head on fire an' make your kidneys scream   Oh, it sure is fine   Yeah, we was havin' ourselves one of them real good times      But you know every beer joint that you've ever been in   Some big, mean drunk who just ain't got no friend   Sure enough, he wants to fight   Yeah, he's gonna whip everything in sight      Well, he took him a big cold swallow of beer   And he spit in my Mexican friends ear   And sure enough that made my buddy real mad   That's somethin' like he ain't never had      Well, Sir, he pulled out a big, long switch blade knife   Quick as a whistle he began to slice   And that big mean drunk stood back, his face full of tears   Lookin' down at the floor, an' one of his ears      Ha, he cut that thing off even with the sideburns   You might say the little Mexican fella, he just didn't give a durn   But he was a gentleman about it   An' bent over and with a half way grin   Picked it up and handed it back to him      He said, "Now big man, you get the urge to spit a little beer   "Just open up your hand there and spit it in your own ear   Won't be no trouble that way", that's what I heard him say      And I said, "Barmaid, set us up a round of that Colorado Cool-Aid   An while you're up there, bring this big fella here, a box of Bandaids"      Now let me tell you if you're ever ridin' down in south of Texas   Decide to stop an' drink some Colorado Cool-Aid   An' maybe talk to some Mexicans   An' you get the urge to get a little tough   Better make damn sure you got your knife proof ear-muff      Hey, ain't that right, big man? I said ain't that right big man?   Ah, hell he can't hear, not on this side anyway, he ain't got no ear      Hey barmaid, bring us all a big, tall glass of that Colorado Cool-Aid   How about it?   How you doin', big man? Still got your ear there in your hand?